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Jargons!

So here is one thing I had thought of writing earlier, but gave up on the face of lethargy and other side-things.

However, with the resurfacing of the topic, I look at my conversations (on mail ) with M and list down some of the corporate ‘jargons’ used liberally throughout most companies, in most cases, incongruously. Especially since some of people are rather weak in their English, and try to act like masters, picking up words from conversations and adopting them and cultivating them for their own benefit.

There are of course the vast majority who have good working knowledge of English, extremely efficient and use it normally, except for these phrases and words which they heard somewhere, guessed at a meaning and thereafter use in situations where if not perplexing or confusing, they are positively hilarious.

 

Apart from IT companies have IT work related jargons, Pharma having Pharma jargons (remember my this post on short forms? And this one on the corporate word ‘meeting’(http://dippyblogs.livejournal.com/96698.html))

So here goes a long list of jargons used in companies. Please feel free to identify and add. (Source: Brainstorming between M and me)

 

·         Dove-tail – this phrase used by every Tom and Harry of my organization is also, to my surprise, delight and contempt is used with an accompanying hand gesture of one hand swooping down. You can be asked to dove tail your assignment with another’s or even a time line, or, well, anything

·         Time Line – everything has a timeline. It is probably the first word you learn. Timelines can be for projects, or even the timeline for a meeting may be decided 5 minutes in advance, timeline for reaching the meeting may also be there

·         Meetings – they are of course mandatory, ranging from gossip between two colleagues at a desk to a board room one, meetings are, well, meetings

·         Issue – these are things that are discussed in meetings, or otherwise. Basically, a project gone wrong

·         Challenges – are what you face while solving an issue

·         Etc.

 

To keep you from getting bored, let me now make sentences of some of the best jargons in the industry (ies): [The jargons are in bold]

 

“A communiqué was sent some time ago outlining the issues which require activation of some contrameasures which need to dove-tail into our existing projects. This will be handled as a separate project headed by a steering committee (names attached). This will be the highest priority for all mentioned members, and full support is expected to ensure that this project is successful.

 

Further to the communiqué, to give you a heads up, the dope is something like this – our organization needs to chart the path followed by our competitors in the same industry space and thereafter create traction on our product by building capability to create footprints in the industry. My sense is that we need to target the low hanging fruit, which typically, I feel is possible only by on-ground implementation backed by face to face interactions with customers re-enforced by con-calls and webinars. The coordination between teams has to be closely monitored and tracked. The kitty has to be large so as to reach out to everyone on the mailing lists, with the correct coordinates, and I will personally look into it. The mailers need to be created professionally so as to reduce any tension possible by miscommunication. The issue has to be handled delicately and the vertical in-charge of this project has to be on top of all the happenings all the time via rigorous follow ups and regular mailing. To ensure that everyone is on the same page, the group members should be marked on the mail copies, if not for action, then just by an FYI. After deciding upon the timelines, the deck for the workshop needs to be finalized within the given deadline before activation of the roadshow, so as to ensure seamless working and implementation. We need to work fast and proficiently to ensure we leave our competition (if any) behind. All interested can volunteer names for potential customers, the nominations should be sent to the SC members by mail till the forms are uploaded on our online systems.

I am in the middle of a deadline at the moment, with intermittent access to mails, you may contact me, or the steering committee of the project via hand phones for any clarifications or questions.

Cheers!”

 

 

To add, an example of gross misuse, here is a mail dialogue between M and her colleague:

“Hi M… come over for lunch. I am reaching out to the ground floor cafeteria.”

he would be nominating yourself”

“XVZ was trying to reach you out”

 

 

Thanks M, for helping me remember, and know about so many of the jargons.

By the way, a very happy birthday, have a great year ahead! J

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
rexzilla
23rd Apr, 2007 11:46 (UTC)
Well well
I ran Bullfighter on the paragraph you'd mentioned above...a score of 7.2, and here's what it says :
"Diagnosis: Teetering on the edge of unclear. The overall meaning remains discernible, but it becomes possible to lose oneself in corollary thoughts, which may be worth exploration, but which can also detract from the core point of the written article."

Oh, and it spotted 4 bull words!

You just brought back unpleasant memories of my first post MBA job..the 'dopelar effect' was very much in evidence from then!
dippyblogs
24th Apr, 2007 05:00 (UTC)
Re: Well well
This is a good tool :) Dint know of it!
Dutifully downloaded and installed.
(Anonymous)
23rd Apr, 2007 11:46 (UTC)
JM..
Thanks for the wishes! Second time on dippy that u wished me. Not that i am complaining.. :)

Yeah...u forgot:
"Why dont we track this by sending across a weekly dashboard? XYZ should be able to do it. He has the bandwidth to complete the assignment."
Bandwidth is so common, that i use it on a daily basis now.
Incl. challenges, issues, key stakeholders, key parameters, key anything...
sashdude
23rd Apr, 2007 17:59 (UTC)
i was
going to do a check on bullfighter myself, but rex beat me to the chase..Heres a tuppence worth of jargon common in my company and industry in general..and i am not talking about the zillion tech related words(web 2.0 subaversioning :D)
Ballpark figure
Take a call on it
its your call
No issues
integrators
proliferation
and millions more.. in fact check out.. http://www.stickyourneckout.com/humor/humor53.htm for more bs..
dippyblogs
24th Apr, 2007 04:59 (UTC)
Re: i was
Darn! How could I miss out on Ballpark figure and Bandwidth?
Not to forget a dipstick of all inputs.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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