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We all graduate. At some time or the other. It has nothing to do with the social timeline, but it is something internal. Even the social timelines are a reflection of the average graduation time of the masses.

We graduate whether we like it or not. Whether we fight it or not. From one stage to another. From childhood to adulthood and every single other phase in life. No matter how young someone wants to stay, a time will come when they will become old. Not literally, but mentally.

We live through so many incidents in life, aggregate so much information and feelings - things called Experience. And experience makes a person age. Mentally. We cannot help but grow older as we live through life. And mental age reflects itself in our actions and thus our age.

No one can be '18 till they die'. Its a fake dream many people want to live with. They can only remember that time of their life. The relative naiivity (and not the bad bits). That can never return. Memories may be erased by delibidating diseases like Alzheimers, but they are diseases - they do not replace other facets of the youth and euphoria.

We graduate from being 18 to being 20 over two years and so on. We learn, we see change around us. We graduate from being students to being independent thinking human beings. We change. And nothing can tick time back. Why should one? Being 20 has its own charms. Graduating has its advantages.

Every child wants to be older, because they see the truth - we need to graduate. The innate requirement in us to move forward and not backward or stay still. To explore new avenues, to fully exploit our lives. To see what is Next. A child wants to be an adult and an adult wants to be in a relationship who then wants to contribute to the society - by procreating or by other means.We all want to move on. We just dont realise it.

The past is safe - we know how good it was. Hence the clinging nature of people to immerse themselves in nostalgia. However, as Buz Luhrman famously said '...nostalgia ... is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.'

But its a fake dream. Its pulling wool over your own eyes. For even as these people talk about wanting to be young, they move on in life. Some stay back - till they become vestigeal parts of the society. Remember the guy who failed 6 times just to stay back in college? Who really was his friend? Was he really back in his second year by being there one more year? He was a different person. He had lived the experience and no number of so called college class repetitions can ever make him the same person. He had moved on and refused to acknowledge it.

Stayinig still is not an option. It cannot happen. We live our lives thruogh every moment, and learn something every day. We grow older as we speak. And when we are slow to realise the changes, society tells us. When someone is working they may be single or married. Soon everyone they know/ knew 'graduates' - they marry. The choices left for the single person remains to be single and find a new set of friends, adjust with the married friends or simply, get married themselves. They cannot remain 'still' where they were. Every one around them has graduated and moved on, they are forced to move on to the next stage. When people say this is pressure and that the marriage was not their choice, they lie. No one can really innately make you do things against your will - not in a peaceful way anyway. If someone does not want to marry, they will never like a girl/ guy enough to say 'yes' even at an arranged marriage. And most parents will not finalise a life changing decision like marriage without consent. These people have graduated and they refuse to realise it. They would rather blame someone else for their choices in life.

Everyones life has something interesting and exciting - most times they dont realise it. Many times they refuse to acknowledge it. They are afraid. What they dont realise is, every choice, every experiece is embedded in them. Like the scar of an injury which may vanish from sight but can be rememebered or felt, every bit we do makes us move forward, learn and changes us. Our choices make us and we make our own choices.

Graduation is inevitable, why then dont we just sit back, learn and enjoy it! We always have retirement to look forward to.

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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
14th Dec, 2008 19:24 (UTC)
Wonderfully written
and like I just said about sensations- this is one of those posts of yours :)

The last para struck a chord- I have felt kinda fossilized at times, and especially with the 'graduation' to the next stage of married life, I guess we're all late bloomers.
What's scary is when the self denial extends too long, and then you realize it's too late to change/have to settle for suboptimal choices after some time.
14th Dec, 2008 19:36 (UTC)
Re: Wonderfully written
thanks! ^_____^

I agree with the too long, but that is wrt to surrounding ppl - the society. It is never too late if you realise,and if it is right for you then, there is no suboptimal. Even at the average Joe time you might have ended up with sub-optimal.
At least now you are sure of what you want and knew that you wanted to be more mature before certain decisions were to be taken.
18th Dec, 2008 15:46 (UTC)
Nice one JM! Could relate to it.
"Past is safe" or atleast experienced, and future at times seems scary... but one has to grow in terms of experiences and move on. The past has to be left behind, esp if it wasn't something u had wanted. I guess all of us get affected by it - the degree may vary, but how we deal with it inflences your present and future.
I hope I have expressed myself clearly. :)
19th Dec, 2008 05:12 (UTC)
Re: JM
:) yes you have.

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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