For me, it went before I realised what was happening, yet it brought about a sea of changes. I have changed, my talk has changed, and so has my writing. In fact, I have not written in a long time and I have no one to blame, really.
Of course, if I want to, I can blame everyone and everything. I can blame my work (too much!), my travels to work (driving does not allow for writing), my married life (husband is more interesting than writing) and a myriad of other things (tired! busy!). But the fact remains that I prioritised a number of other activities over writing.
When I found the time, I cooked/ baked. I even painted. I would rather vegetate than write.
Because I felt I had lost my spark. I felt I had nothing more important to say. I felt that all I wrote was pretentious and could not bear to read a word. If I couldnt read my own prose, why would another?
I lie. None of the above were the reasons. The reason was simply - Life Happened.
Today I sit here typing and almost apologising to the one medium that has brought solace and joy. Yet I think it is normal. Sometimes a break is what is needed to feel wanted again.
Today after a long time I felt like writing, and I made it happen. I have opened LJ to write, but in most cases I have forgotten what I wanted to pen down even before the site opened.
Today life is so different from when I had opened an LJ account for the first time. So different from when I had hopes of making this a proper journal and wrote almost daily.
Life has changed, yet it remains the same in so many manners. My identity has evolved, increased, and as a person I have grown. Only for the better. All change, I think, is for the better.
Yet, in my mind I am the same person. I am me.
And that, I think is the essence of being. The knowledge of yourself. The comfort in being what you are. But thats me personally.
If I have the time, the scope and more proactiveness, perhaps I will write more here. At the moment this remains a loving place of lovely memories, and hopefully a place to store many more to come.