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the Walking Styles of Men

This suddenly dawned upon me one of these recent days.
I was walking down one of the innumberable and long corridors of my office, when throughout the length of the rather long journey, a young, rather thin man arrived. and walked for the whole distance an appreciable distance, in front of me.

I thus, had ample opportunity to observe him, whether wanting to or not. (and I like observing ppl)

This led me to observe other men whenever they walked in front of me.

Men walk funny. Correction. Most men walk funny. (Afterall I should always have a loophole to squirm out of in case required. But I would personally stand by the first line. the exceptions are extremely rare)

The thinner they are, the more funny they are.

The hands stick out on both sides, at a distance slightly or much wider than the shoulder distance. They sort of jump and limp (combined, indescribable) at every step.
This seems to be more for thinner men since they seem to keep trying to defy the laws of gravity, and at last minute acquise. And also, their slight frame accentuates every movement.
Did I forget to mention the chest filled and streched as much as possible in most cases? (seena taan kar)

Then there is the conscious walk. Of men who are very conscious. They try to glide, but then the have to follow the jump-limp-walk rule. Result being, the legs act as if they are dislocated from the hip, while torso remains stiff.

Fat men have a more steady gait, if you can call it that. the back, thanks to the abundant belly, is thrust forward, and the walk is more of a warble.

Then there are the over-enthusiastic men. High on energy. They stoop. From the waist. Its like even when they aer walking slow, they would be running at a slow pace. same the case with friendly-type men, or confident men. yes, Confident men stoop or seem to potter. while somehow trying to manage the jump-limp.

This Jump-limp is something only men can do! It is in their genes...or should I make that jeans?! In some cases it is magnified, in else you have to look closely to find it, but it definitely is there!

The best part of this whole walking thing is, you dont notice it if the man is walking towards you. It is more noticable when he is walking away. as if the face somehow makes up for the whole distorted gait thing.

Women walk different too. But that is just a variation of SHM and non SHM of the waist in most cases (SHM being Simple Harmonic motion, pendulum motion for the uninitiated). And not so funny.

Next time, woman, just try walking a lil behind a guy, and i promise you a barrel of laughs. Now I know why women walk slightly behind men in Japan! clever Females! ;)

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Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
sashdude
24th Mar, 2006 09:54 (UTC)
funneee..
post, and rather informative..you forgot the gliding sort, people who sort of walk on thin air, effortless move towards.. But i think the gait is determined by a few factors
1. Build(thin/fat)
2. Shoes..(yes they matter)
3. A full stomach or empty one
For example men in chappals walk worse than ones in shoes who sort of run.
Now that is another reason we men say ladies first, so that they dont look at us while walking..:D
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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Regurgitations of my mind. Specific, Vague, Memorable, Forgettable, Thoughtless, In-depth.

More variegated than your dreams or colours off a crystal. More than I can pen down. What I can, you can read.


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