will catch up later i guess...else i suppose there are always parts of ur life that go undocumented. meanwhile there are others who make up for my absence from the net. atanarjuat enters the world, sceptical and testing the waters with a thermometer (not even a toe)...struggling to free himself of his self imposed cord of suspicion.
meanwhile im testing the world of the 'sales rep' or rather, the medical rep - and in the process finished off a book or two in some illustrious doctors' chambers...and unknown to all else, actually having a nice time. its almost a holiday, what with bing away from computer, and mails! and lo! before i know it, tomorrow my week on the field ends. monday and il be in office, and wednesday another week begins.
if i have the guts to do it, i think what i would like to do is take a yr or so off and do work like a ... receptionist or air hostess or soemthing, and then think about coming back here. or maybe go relax somewhere and read and maybe even write a book - everyone seems to be doing that!
well after this comes another period of my time in this office- of doing work with domestic marketing - branding .. the stuff! (along with my actual work of course!)
thence - who knows. am i afraid of change, or is it that change is foolish now? when exactly does one know to take the bull by the horns? For after all dont they say...when exactly does one know one is in love? when does one realise that childhood has passed? when does one know that Time is passing? when exactly does one know that one is in love? that you are what you aimed to be? when exactly does one realise that one is independant? and when does one know that there is no such thing as independence? when exactly does one know its Time.
After the event happened i supose. and in most cases i think its the 6th sense that matters...and not realisation. when things are due, they will happen, but one should not lose control and one should also not leave everytrhing to luck and Time and there should be the minimal necesary effort on our parts to make it happen....Then things will happen!
i meet doctors and think - what if id been one of them? i look at someone else and i think - what if i was him...i look at a profession and visualise myself there, thinkin what it would be to work there... no i dont mean jobs remotely close to what im doing. and then (thanks to a recent Asimov) i wonder if i could change time and reflexes, and wonder if there was a different life for me, where in my life i could have initiated a change enough to cause a different result and a different present. but then this is also a phase. what needs to be known is how to make the optimal result coming out of the present. perhaps after all, given a second chance i would have still chosen the same present? is that not what the present is all about?
what if there is another me in another reality - another part of the world even! living my other life? how do i know that other person i meet on the road is not living my probable life? and how do i know that the colour i call red is not the same hue as your red? thoughts carried on since ages...childhood., and probably shared by so many.
ah! how the mind works...and i began by saying i have nothing to write!